I wrote this two years ago for paper I wrote in Grad school. The incident I refer to, occurred in early 2017 right after Trump was elected. I intellectually and cognitively knew what white privilege was before this but this was the first time I ever truly encountered my privilege. I also realize this is a somewhat insignificant experience compared to recent events but it was significant to me. I should've shared this long ago but I'm grateful for the ability to share it now. This is a crucial time, these are hard but important conversations. We must stand with our brothers and sisters of color. #blacklivesmatter
I’m a social worker for kids in foster care and for many years I worked with a sibling group of five children who lived in the city of Chicago. These children, all African-American, were being fostered by their grandmother. However, the neighborhood they reside in is a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood. About a year ago, I was visiting the family in the evening and we started to notice that there was a commotion outside the home and could see police lights. From the window we could see 4 or 5 uniformed police officers standing next to the house. One of the officer’s picked up one of child’s Razor scooters that had been lying on the side of the house and started using it as a hammer to break open the lock on the family’s gate, in order to gain access to home next door. As this police officer is standing on private property, using private property, to break private property, I feel a sense of injustice welling up inside of me. Me, being the outspoken person, I am, I move towards the door to (respectfully) confront the officers on this behavior because none of this was legal or appropriate. I couldn't even fathom a law enforcement office behaving in such a manner so it only seemed natural to me to approach him about it; after all, I've always found police officers to be respectful and helpful, so I assume a rational conversation will clear this up quickly.
As I move towards the door, grandma looks at me with complete fear in eyes and begs me not to go out there. She tells me it’s better just to let them do their thing and she’ll clean everything up later. Now, at this point I’ve know this woman for 3 years: she was not a meek lady, she never failed to voice her opinion if she had one. I was floored. To see this strong, single mom, beg me not to even go outside, made my stomach drop and my outrage surge even higher. Out of respect for her, I stayed inside, but I was livid. I was outraged that these officers would even think to treat private property this way and even more livid that our culture is one where a normally confident, black woman was terrified of speaking up for her rights because of the disastrous effects it might have simply because of the color of her skin and the neighborhood she lives in.
Meanwhile the officers, have broken the gate open and are now in the side yard and peering into the neighbor’s house and are trying to open a window. Grandma quietly speaks up and tells me about the heavy presence of ICE in the neighborhood the past few weeks. She is assuming something similar is occurring next door. The oldest child, 12, adds they have seen people being pulled from their homes in the middle of the night. The understanding is, because this is a predominantly Hispanic area, they are looking for (and arresting) undocumented immigrants. As he shares this with me, there is much fear and sadness in this little boy’s eyes. I wonder what must be feeling and thinking. I wonder if there is relief that he not of Latino descent and he is safe from being pulled from his home in the middle of the night. I wonder if there is fear the color of his skin will predetermine some of the experiences he may have.
The experience I shared above did not relate to my “diversity". I was not the one being discriminated against. I could’ve easily walked away from that situation not offended and unaffected in my worldview. However, I’m thankful that it did affect me. I experienced institutionalized racism from the perspective of African American family and started to get glimpse of white privilege in America. White privilege is the concept that whiteness is the invisible standard by which all other races are judged (Gonzalez & Chen, 2016). In addition, Diane Adams also credits Peggy McIntosh with the following definition of white privilege, “white individuals are conditioned to not recognize their privilege, to remain oblivious to it while enjoying its benefits” (Adams, 2015, p. 328). This definition speaks volumes to me because before my experience above, I was living deep in white privilege.
As difficult as the scenario was to experience, I’m thankful I was there to witness it because it made me see my privilege in a way I had previously been unable to do so. My experience above has forever changed the way I see and look at the world especially when it comes to racism and race relations. I humbly acknowledge that as a Caucasian, I need to approach this topic with great humility and a knowledge that I will never be able to totally feel the depth how racisms affects the lives of millions black Americans every day. However, this is an area I would like to grow in. Especially as social worker who often works with minorities, I not only need to be aware of white bias but I also need to recognize that I’m in a position, as social worker, to bring change not just into individuals lives but into a broken system (Davis & Gentlewarrior, 2015).
I hope that I can remain respectful and humble as I navigate this extremely delicate subject of racism, white privilege, and also white guilt. White guilt occurs when white individuals feel an uneasiness and responsibility for the injustices that have been inflicted on minorities due to race by the Caucasians as a group; for example, European Americans feeling guilty about African American slavery (Iyer, Leach, & Crosby, 2003). I’m also well aware of the white savior complex which certainly needs to avoided as well. Linder acknowledges the goal of white individuals should be to become allies with those who are the victims of racism; while some people may start out as allies as a way to assuage their own guilt, true allies will be open to increasingly understanding their own privilege and eventually become partners with the oppressed rather than working on behalf of the oppressed (2015). This goal is one I want to adopt on this journey. As a social worker my job is to empower others: coming alongside of people and helping them reach their own goals. It means partnering with people. I hope that over my life and career, I can partner with minorities as individuals and also as a larger societal group in order to make a more equal and welcoming culture for all, no matter what your race, ethnicity, or skin color.
Adams, D. M. (2015). The unbearable lightness of being white. Women & Therapy, 38(3-4), 327-340. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1080/02703149.2015.1059215
Davis, A., & Gentlewarrior, S. (2015). White privilege and clinical social work practice: Reflections and recommendations. Journal of Progressive Human Services, 26(3), 191-208. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1080/10428232.2015.1063361
Gonzalez, A., & Chen, Y.-W. (2016). Our voices: Essays in culture, ethnicity, and communication (6th ed.). New York: Oxford University Press.
Iyer, A., Leach, C. W., & Crosby, F. J. (2003). White guilt and racial compensation: The benefits and limits of self-focus. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(1), 117-129. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1177/0146167202238377
Linder, C. (2015). Navigating guilt, shame, and fear of appearing racist: A conceptual model of antiracist white feminist identity development. Journal of College Student Development, 56(6), 535-550. doi:http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1353/csd.2015.0057
