So let me start off by saying that I apologize if I ever
come across as self-righteous or condescending in my blogs. Please know that it
is not my intent. I do tend to get carried away and sometimes in my zeal and
passion end up coming across as a jerk, so I apologize.
Secondly, I have had so many great ideas for posts but just
couldn’t get the words right so maybe one day I’ll finish and post the many
half written posts saved on my computer.
Thirdly, I had a really great topic I wanted to write about
but since Tuesday is our anniversary I thought my other half, my best friend,
my love, my Zack, deserved a little attention.
So on June 25 Zack and I will have been together for five
years. FIVE years! And married for TWO! We had the special privileged of being
married on the same day we started dating three years previously.
For those who have known us for a while, know that Zack and
I’s journey has not always been easy especially in the beginning but I always
knew that Zack was a part of God’s plan for my life.
Marriage itself is not easy and I know for some people it’s
not that bad. But poor Zack he had the misfortune of marrying a fiercely
independent woman who is still trying to figure out what it means to be “one”.
Zack is seriously my better half. I know it’s cheesy but it’s
so true. Sure, he’s not perfect but I give him a run for his money and he is so
patient with me (way more patient that I would be with me)!
I am headstrong. Independent.
Stubborn. Proud. Opinionated. And while many of these things can be positive
characteristics if left unchecked can run amuck and turn me into an unpleasant
person to be around – especially when combined.
Zack is the one who keeps me in check. He’s the one who
calls me out on my crap and then endures my wrath as I get defensive for being
called out. He is so patient with me and he always, always listens to my
endless ramblings.
I used see myself as the strong one the one who kept us on
track but I am beginning to realize that often Zack is the one who does. Maybe not in the way that I’m used to but
considering he’s the only person who truly see’s my soul and can confront me on
the icky stuff in it, I think I’d be lost without him.
Being married forces you to look at your crap. You can’t
hide it the way you hide it from the world. Zack and I have the unique ability
to be able to push each to be more and more a man/woman after God’s own heart
as we look into one another’s soul and lovingly confront and care for each
other. 
Marriage is partnership and there are often times when I am
the strong ones but other times he is. We’ve learned that in order to be good
team you have to be willing to step up when the other is faltering and also be
willing to rest on the other when you just can’t carry on. Zack and I have
that. And that truly blesses me. I love that I know I can trust him to carry me
and that I can be a blessing to him and carry him in turn.
Recently I’ve had several conversations about marriage with
people who are skeptical about the institution of marriage. And in light of
today’s culture and perception of marriage, I don’t blame them. However, Zack and I have a different idea of what
marriage is. Marriage is a lot of things but ultimately it’s a representation
of Christ and his Church. We are to be an example, a light, to the world of how
much the Lord loves his people. He
commands Zack and I to love one another as Christ has loved the Church.
My prayer to the Lord when Zack and I first got together was
that together we could bring more glory to Him than either one of us could
bring alone. This is still my prayer and I believe the Lord has honored it. We aren’t
perfect and we still have many challenges before us, I am sure, but God has
been so faithful to us in our marriage. We often forget to put Him at the center
and struggle every day to do so yet he remains faithful by giving us grace to
carry one and to allow us to continue to help shape each other into the people
He wants us to be.
Our marriage is not perfect because we are not perfect but I
do believe we bring God honor in three ways. 1) By being example to the world
of commitment and God’s plan for marriage 2) and example of God’s love for his people
and 3) to encourage and challenge one another to be more like Christ.
So all this to say, I am so very thankful for Zack and for
the Lord bringing him into my life all those years ago. Not just because I have
a built in best friend who always there for me but because together we are
becoming more like our creator and living for him. I am so excited to see where
he is going to take us in the next year and the years to come.
